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Thursday, March 14, 2013

How Not To Oppose Same Sex Marriage

This one is destined to become a classic.
Ran across this gem here
Of course, the gentleman probably thought that he was doing his community a great favor, and perhaps there was a sort of...preparation, for this obviously important event.
But hearing his testimony, one can't help but wonder what kind of reference materials he consulted.

Not an approved Biology textbook, that's for sure.
Maybe he dreamed this up, after a really memorable night?
Who knows?   
Watch and listen:


Here is the text of his testimony:


My name is Mike Frey. I speak as a concerned Minnesotan father and husband. And the thing about same sex marriage is that, people who are married, do have sex. And when same-sex people are married, they do have sex, there’s something called sodomy. Sodomy defined in Minnesota is sex by or with the mouth or through the anus. When there is ejaculation into a vagina, there is a barrier there, as in your packet it states there, of a cellular tissue that doesn’t allow the sperm — that has an enzyme at the head of it, to penetrate the blood flow. It is designed to go to the egg — that enzyme is designed to burn the outside membrane of the egg cell — go inside the egg, and then deposit the DNA. We call that conception.
When ejaculation occurs inside of a colon it is a highly absorbent material, the cells do not have a barrier for the sperm and those enzymes to enter into the bloodflow. When the enzymes enter into the bloodflow and a continued, prolonged, um, environment to that happens these enzymes into bloodflow it causes what we know as AIDS — acquired immune deficiency syndrome. AIDS of course brings on common diseases, colds and things, and it magnifies them to a point where it’s unhealthy. Not only does it strengthen the disease within the carrier of AIDS — the person that has a destroyed immune system — but it also strengthens the disease that can be spread to the society at large.

Not the brightest bulb in the chandelier, this guy. His knowledge of anatomy, biology, and homosexuality is at par with my dog's knowledge of quantum physics.

Contrary to his claim, sperm cell does not turn into an HIV virus. 
And I don't think marriage is all about the sex. Surely there are other reasons? Like, oh I don't know, love?
Besides, people have been having sex outside marriage ever since people figured out that  genitals have other uses, besides being a conduit for pee. 
I know this is probably a shocker--but get this:  homosexual men are not the only people who engage in anal sex! I "came upon" incontrovertible evidence that straight women engage in it, too.
Shocking, right?! I know this because I did a research last night--with the help of Google, of course. 
What can I say? I am a very thorough guy. 
Which is more than I can say for some people (sniff).

Surprisingly, it appears that Mr. Frey is not opposed to marriage between two women; he only mentioned sex that involved spermatozoa
Maybe two women going at it does not trouble him as much as two men doing the hanky-panky.
Can't say I blame him.

Because of this testimony, he only reinforces the stereotype of a misinformed (I am being kind here--I did not use the words idiot and ignorant) bigot.

If I were opposed to same-sex marriage, I would probably be switching sides, after hearing this man.
He is not someone you could point to and shout, "Hey, this guy's on my side! Boy, having him on my side makes me feel really confident!"

Good luck on his career as an Internet meme. 



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