Warning: Spoiler Alert

I was watching that “I see dead people” movie years ago when this so-called friend called me up and asked me what I was doing. I said I’m watching this movie with Bruce Willis in it, and there's this kid who sees dead people.

He said, “Oh yeah. Saw that. Bruce Willis is the ghost.” Then he laughed. I played it cool, but I was seething. I thought of Cthulhu and considered summoning him. 

I don’t remember what he said afterwards, what he called me up for, or even what we talked about, but every time I see him (which is about once or twice a year, thank heavens) I imagine him being gnawed on by a good-sized rancor.

I remembered this incident because I just finished reading “Fight Club,” Chuck Palahniuk’s novel. Nobody called me up to spoil anything for me, but I did see this shirt on some website:

This shirt is diabolical

I was only on the first few pages of the book when I saw this, so the whole time I was reading, this was flashing on my head, like a neon sign: Tyler Durden is not real Tyler Durden is not real. Over and over.

Didn’t matter, though—I had a good time reading the book. Still, it would have been quite an experience had I not known that bit about Tyler Durden.
I've read years ago George RR Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire, and I could have revealed massive spoilers to my friends when the TV series came out. But I didn't (pats myself on the back). I'm awesome that way.

Unlike my good-only-as-rancor-food former friend, who, had he been a book reader, would not have hesitated to call up (or text) every one he knows and tell them about Ned Stark or about The Red Wedding. Thank god the only thing he reads are labels on cheap gin bottles. 

Spoilers like these probably won’t affect the price of rice in the Philippines, but for someone like me who still feels galactically pissed off at that TV executive who cancelled Firefly, it can be infuriating. These little things can all add up. 

And they all comeback to bug you at three in the morning.